GRIN AND BEAR IT

As I said in my first real blog here, "Life isn't Fair". Not only that, it doesn't even come close most days. While I have reason to believe that, I keep hoping for evidence to the contrary. I go to bed, (some nights) thinking "Tomorrow will be better", but lately most night I struggle to find sleep. I manage to get an hour or so at a time, possibly up to 3 hours total, and wake up with a lousy migraine. At a loss for why this is happening, I run down the list of possible reasons why in my head. The list never really changes, and typically, I find myself awake, miserable with a headache, and hammering away at this stupid keyboard.

1.) Is it my OCD?

2.) Is it my Sleep Apnea?

3.) Is my CPAP functioning correctly?

4.) Do I need another sleep study?

5.) Is it related to my heart?

6.) Does it have anything to do with my diabetes?

7.) Is it a result of life stresses?

8.) Do I need a new bed?

9.) Is there something seriously wrong with me?

10.) Is it something I should be more concerned with?

I have been having a hard time sleeping pretty much the whole time I have been living here with Bergie. I moved in about Thanksgiving. I have known Bergie for about 30 years, and we are friends. I trust him, and we get along well. My only problem since I have lived here is that the room comes with an added responsibility I never really signed up for. He is also a brittle diabetic, type 1, and is on a insulin pump. He tries very hard to monitor his condition, but frequently falls into dangerly low blood sugars. In the past 3 months, I have had to call 911 about 5 times, the neighbors called them once, and a couple of them we managed to get some sugar in him on our own. He is a great guy, and a decent room mate. I appreciate his Anal Rententiveness, and the fact that around him, virtually nothing goes to waste. He is fastidious about his house, his hygiene, his record keeping, and several aspects of daily life. Whether is is cutting down wood for the fireplace, or clipping the plastic can rings so birds dont get stuck, or recycling... he has a certain obsessive way of doing certain things that while amusing to me, I have a fair amount of respect for.

On the downside, I try to avoid all discussion of religion, politics, and women with him. These three things are triggers that he is especially sensitive to. It is not uncommon for me to hear him rattling off a prolonged string of obsenities at the tv evening news. I usually tell him to quit stuffing his feelings, and tell them how he really feels.

Anyway... Except for the occasionally violent diabetic reaction, during which he gets highly agitated and the wallboard suffers, except for that, he does not disturb me ever. So, I am still left to wonder what is the source of my prolonged sleeplessness. "Sleepless in Vancouver" just does not have that special ring to it. So it is a moot point to start a "wish I were asleep instead of typing all night" blog. I do that anyway, and do not need yet another blog to keep track of.

A friend of mine who I wrote about in the other blog has viewed the new one this morning, but was not impressed with the photoshopping. Guess it came across a little morbid or sinister. But, I am confident that many others will find it as cool as I do, nevermind the morbidity.

I could write about this stuff in either blog, and in fact think this is more appropriate for "The Truth Hurts". I believe I am going to cross post at least part of this one. What I want for this Blog is a place to impart useful information, stuff I have learned along the way. I think I want "The Truth Hurts" to be more geared toward daily life sort of stuff. I want "The Truth Hurts" (here after referred to as T2H) to be where I discuss the journey itself, while this Blog (Back9) to deal with the lessons learned along the way. I also think that whatever photoshopping I do I will post here. I will leave the pictures of Kitties and Posies to T2H.

So now, once again, distracted, and off track, miles away from what I wanted to write about this morning, I think I am going to take a break. My crappy "tastes like melted crayons" coffee blend is calling me to the kitchen for another dose of stomach turning, gut wrenching, olifactorally unpleasant, caffeinated beverage. Note to self: Appropriate for the "Lessons Learned Along The Way" theme of this blog~

On Coffee: Quit buying the cheap ass storebrand crap. It ain't worth it.